The Beijing Olympics are here!

So it is Day 1 at the Beijing Summer Olympics and the story I have been hearing about is not about the smog or this year's American Olympic swimmer that posed for Playboy or even about the American Basketball team losing again. No, all the media attention has been revolved around a Chinese Restaurant called Guo-li-zhang (which if my lessons on the Chinese language from watching OMNI 2 serve me correct, I think means “House of Dick”).

The Guo-li-zhang restaurant in Beijing has been making news headlines across the world with its "delicacies". The Guo-li-zhuang menu has a broad introduction to the medicinal benefits of eating animal penises and testicles.Yes that's right, animal penises and testicles - for people to eat them.


Ox penises help manliness. They're cut along the side and shaped into little stars. Apparently the more dick you eat equates to being more of a “man”.


The yak penis is served with a dragon. In the Guolizhuang restaurant there are more than 30 different animal penises on the menu. And for very special guests there's a list of others. I personally recommend the leopard dick. It has spots and is delicious. It’s somewhat reminiscent of the black & white cookie…total unity!!! Hey, isn’t that what the Olympics is all about?

'Henry's whip' is the house speciality at Beijing's Guolizhuang restaurant. It's a sheep's penis on a stick covered in mayonnaise, sweet cheese, served on a bed of lettuce. Sounds like the perfect food for a hangover!!!


The penises are often dipped in soy or hot sauce. For women, eating penis is supposed to be good for the skin. I’ve been trying to tell people that for years!!!!Along with the fine delicacies of a variety of animal penis you can try, they also offer deer-penis Juice (I would assume freshly made! Does it have pulp?) along with deer and sheep feces (Is it blended like a smoothie? Does it taste like Crunchy Peanut Butter or is it featured with lettuce, tomato and cucumber?)

Rabba's Verdict:

NOT CLASSY!

Asians are truly innovators in being sick bastards. What’s next…used panties in vending machines? Oh wait…they already have them!!! Gotta love the Asians…